DS: Nope. What is it?
KP: Something one of the KP readers came up with, I suppose. Perhaps it's a personal choice, like the one position you hate most. The conversation I hear goes something like:
"Honey, let's do it."
Something like that. All the voices in my head are white trash... Anyway--if you were in prison would you rather room with the big guy from the Green Mile or Seth Green?
"Okay, sweetie, but not the 'weirdo postion tonight, I'm still a little sore."
DS: Ohmygod, Seth Green. I think he's so sexy. Really, no kidding, I do. Do you know him? Is he gay? Will he sleep with me?
KP: I don't know him, sorry. But now I can hardly wait to meet him and find out. If he doesn't punch me, I think the chances are good. He's so little. Even if he does punch me, I imagine it will tickle a little and make me giggle. Hee! Tell us, is NERVE magazine a good sex magazine or just eighth-grade giggles?
DS: Does it have to be one or the other? I mean, can't it be both?
KP: Good point. If there were two rooms (presumably in Hell) and one had Kathy Griffin and the other had Andy Dick which room would you go in?
DS: Andy Dick.
KP: Why is Nascar so popular?
DS: Because America is a stupid country filled with morons.
KP: Which also explains how the President got elected. Anyway, the last question is from Betsey Brock: Corey Feldman, Corey Haim or Corey Hart?
DS: Haim, of course.
Many thanks to Dan for the interview! You can purchase his books
at your local bookstore, or online.
- SAVAGE LOVE: Straight Answers from America's Most Popular Sex Columnist
- THE KID: What Happened After My Boyfriend and I Decided to Go Get Pregnant: An Adoption Story
Dan's column, Savage Love, is syndicated and can be found in newspapers and magazines all over, including of course, THE STRANGER in Seattle, or online at www.theonion.com. For advice on love, life: send letters to