HELLO, MONEYBAGS
Joey was betting. He was hoping that the dice would produce a human being by the fifth roll. Of course, this didn't happen because chance and probability were not on his side and he had no idea how to play God. Subsequently, Joey lost sixty million dollars on the bet and the dice became man on the sixth roll.

SAY IT, THEN PLAY IT
I gave my friend $20. Then, he took it and cut it up. And then, he planted the pieces. And some dandelions grew. Then, he planted some napkins. And some wild onions grew. Then, he planted some shredded envelopes and invoices. And a tree grew. And the tree got a name. Tree. And the tree formed a mouth of knots and bark and leafy lips and said, "Twenty dollars is kind of a lot of money."

And then, winter came and snow covered the mouth and he looked like Burl Ives but as a tree.

TELEVISION
First of all, I don't smoke crack. Second, I love smoking crack only for the taste. If I had 2 wishes, one would be for more trees in my yard and the other would be for more wishes, so that I could build me a house that's a giant crack pipe. And then, I would be living in a crack pipe. Yep. And the crack pipe would have a satellite dish so I could have unlimited channels.

Watchin' tv, smokin' crack, eatin' oysters for a snack. Holy sunshine! Why would I leave? Well, to look at my trees.