Wednesday, January 21, 2004

With the 2004 presidential race heating up hotter than my rug-burned scrotum at Leonard Nimoy's birthday party, everyone is turning to The Filthy Celebrity Imposter for my take on each of the candidates. Even though I'm dressed up like Tina Yothers and am spending the day giving "Nashville knee-jobs" to each member of Coldplay, I've taken some time to offer a little bit of what I know about one of the candidates.

If you're ever dressed up like Bill Cosby and Howard Dean walks up to you at Avril Lavigne's pool party and asks if you'd like to eat a handful of Pringles out of his bum-slot while he gives you a sensual massage with his special blend of toe-jam and snot, say "yes". The man is a magic sex genius.

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