Just because a prostitute will accept credit cards does not necessarily make her "high class".

Cody can also be a man's name.

Screaming "Why?!!" until your voice no longer functions as you repeatedly punch your genitals while watching Playboy TV may solve some of your problems, but not all of them.

Surprisingly, while it may help you to forget, Bacardi Orange Flavored Rum mixed with half and half does not taste good. It does, when consumed in sufficient quantities, motivate you to seek female companionship. Again. Even though it goes against your better judgement. Even though it goes against the specific instructions of Officer Beatdown. Even though this particular woman looks remarkably familiar. And built.

As you are being arrested (by the same cops), commenting on the "irony of the situation," is not as funny as you thought. It will definitely not convince them to simply "walk away", and even making that suggestion may only result in a slightly more physical strip search.

Your mom and dad, despite earnest promises to "be there for you any time", may not be inclined to bail your perverted ass out of jail twice in the same night. Your girlfriend will probably be equally unmoved. Especially after she hears the charges. Especially after she meets Cody.

Would any of you fine people be willing to bail me out?

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